Terms and Definitions

Introductory Unit

Heart – The center (locus) or the human person

X and Arrows – diagram describing how Christianity is the only religion in human history that claims that the divine comes down to reality to save man (as opposed to man attempting to ascend to the divine)

Desire – an external want or longing that a person has that originates from an uncontrollable cause

Reality – the state of the world as it really is rather than as you might want it to be; the quality possessed by something that is real

Ontology – the metaphysical study of the nature of being and existence

Being – the state or fact of existing

4 truths – I did not create myself; I have impossible desires; I have limited powers; I expect to be happy.

Anointing of the Sick

Original sin – sin inherited by all descendants of Adam

Viaticum – the Eucharist as given to a person near or in danger of death

Presbyters - An elder or minister of the Christian Church

Extreme unction - A former name for the sacrament of anointing of the sick, esp. when administered to the dying

Stations of the cross - a devotion consisting of fourteen prayers said before a series of fourteen pictures or carvings of Jesus’s passion

Who may administer? - Every priest, and only a priest, validly administers the anointing of the sick.

Who may receive? - The anointing of the sick can be administered to a member of the faithful who, after having reached the use of reason, begins to be in danger due to sickness or old age.

Reconciliation

Penance – The punishment undertaken in token of penitence for sin

Confession- A penitent privately admitting his or her sins to a priest

Forgiveness – the pardoning of one’s sins and starting anew in Christ

Conversion – 1. The act or an instance of converting or the process of being converted. 2. The fact of changing one's religion or beliefs or the action of persuading someone else to change theirs.

Ten Commandments –

1.Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

2.Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.

3.Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.

4.Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates: For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.

5.Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.

6.Thou shalt not kill.

7.Thou shalt not commit adultery.

8.Thou shalt not steal.

9.Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.

Empathy - The ability to understand and share the feelings of another

Venial Sin - A relatively slight sin that does not entail damnation of the soul

Matrimony

Declaration of nullity - In the Roman Catholic Church, annulment is a canonical procedure according to the Church's Canon Law whereby an ecclesial tribunal judges whether the bond of matrimony in a particular case was entered into validly.

Polygamy - The practice or custom of having more than one wife or husband at the same time.

Divorce - The legal dissolution of a marriage by a court or other competent body

Fidelity - Faithfulness to a person, cause, or belief, demonstrated by continuing loyalty and support.

Nuptial blessing - Prayers for the blessing of a couple being married, especially of the bride

Natural family planning - any of several methods of family planning that do not involve sterilization or contraceptive devices or drugs

Abortion - The deliberate termination of a human pregnancy

Holy Orders

Diocese - A district under the pastoral care of a Christian bishop.

Vicar - A representative or deputy of a bishop

Synod of Bishops - A synod (also known as a council) is a council of a church, usually a Christian church, convened to decide an issue of doctrine, administration or application.

Ecumenical council - a synod of the whole church.

Infallibility - The doctrine that the pope is incapable of error in pronouncing dogma.

Imprimatur - An official license by the Roman Catholic Church to print an ecclesiastical or religious book.

Dalmatic - The dalmatic is a long wide-sleeved tunic, which serves as a liturgical vestment

Stole - A strip of fabric used as an ecclesiastical vestment, worn over the shoulders and hanging down to the knee or below.

Baptism

Defn – Initiation into the church and birth into a life with Christ

Matter – Water

Form - I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

Catechumen - A Christian convert under instruction before baptism

Concupiscence - Strong sexual desire; lust.

Conditional baptism – a baptism in which the validity of the original baptism is in doubt

RCIA process- avenue to converting to Catholicism, culminating in the baptism\

Confirmation

Defn - The rite at which a baptized person affirms Christian belief and is admitted as a full member of the church.

Matter - Hand on the person and anointing him with chrism (blessed oil)

Form - Be sealed with the gift of the Holy Spirit.

Minister – Bishop

Fruits of the Spirit – Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.

Gifts of the spirit – understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety, fear of the lord, wisdom

Pentecost - The Christian festival celebrating the descent of the Holy Spirit on the disciples of Jesus after his Ascension, held on the seventh Sunday after Easter

Chrismation - A rite in the Orthodox and Eastern Catholic churches that is comparable and similar to confirmation in the Roman Catholic Church

Eucharist

Defn - The Christian ceremony commemorating the Last Supper, in which bread and wine (Jesus) are consecrated and consumed

Transcendence - Existence or experience beyond the normal or physical level

Transubstantiation - The conversion of the substance of the Eucharistic elements into the body and blood of Christ at consecration, only the appearances of bread and wine still remaining

Tabernacle - An ornamented receptacle or cabinet in which a pyx or ciborium containing the reserved sacrament may be placed in Catholic churches, usually on or above an altar

Consecrate - At the Mass, the act of transforming bread and wine into the Body and Blood of Christ. 

Matter – wheaten bread and wine

Form - This is my body; for it is written: Whilst they were at supper, Jesus took bread, and blessed it, and broke, and gave to his disciples, and said: Take and eat, This is My Body

Designated minister - priest

Call to Holiness

What does it mean to say, "if I need something, I chase after it if it goes away"?  How does this relate to the "Universal Call to Holiness"?  What do you think this quote implies for the everyday Catholic?  What do you think it means to "say who Christ is" without shame?

To say this is to profess a commitment to fulfilling the need for this "something". This "something" is, in this case, holiness. The human race has a need for holiness because Jesus tells us that holiness is the avenue to an everlasting relationship with God in heaven. Of course, we have a need for this everlasting relationship because it is the only thing that can fulfill our infinite desire. Humanity was separated from holiness, or holiness "went away", when Eve gave in to Satan in the garden of Eden. Original sin bifurcated man from his creator. Because we are separated from Him yet we have an infinite need for him, if we are seriously committed to fulfilling this need, we must answer our call to holiness. We must "chase after" God, aided by the undeserved gift of his grace and mercy. 

For the everyday Catholic, this quote has should embody the larger picture of his or her life. This quote should remind us that we are called to be holy, not just when it suits our worldly desires, but all the time, because we are separated from God all the time. This constant attempt at holiness should manifest itself not only through the act of saying "yes" to God and professing faith, but also through the actions of the believer. The call to holiness must be carried out into the world, effectively making Jesus present on this Earth. 

To say who Christ can refer to a verbal description of him and his life, but I think, in this context, it refers to a life lived in Christ. As Christians, we are called to say who he is through our actions every day ranging from small, lonely, ineffectual actions all the way to important, life-altering decisions. This emulation of Christ is associated with shame because Christ is radically opposed to the nature of society and the systems of power created by humanity. The man who lives in Him will likely be ridiculed or rejected by the world. This is only natural, for the the man in Christ will not be of this world; he will be of Christ. To shamelessly say who Christ is means living in Him, against the world, with pride and zeal. 

She Went By Gently

1. God's infinite mercy and forgiveness are shown in the woman's love for the girl. If we sin and repent to God, he will always grant us forgiveness and we will start anew. This correlates to the woman's interaction with the girl. The girl has sinned in the eyes of society (and God) but she is repentant to the woman. She genuinely feels remorse for her actions and promises to be a good girl. The woman unquestioningly acknowledges this and trusts that the girl will learn with time.

2. The woman means that she saved him from sin and Satan. She did this through baptism. By baptizing him in his very few seconds of life, she gave him new life in God. The child received the holy spirit because of her. This action saved him from our world and the original sin associated with being born into it. If he had not been baptized, he would not have had the time or ability to commit any sins, true, but he would be tainted with original sin as all humans are. He would not have been truly one of the Lord's.

3. The purpose of the description is to show the woman's grace. The author has her praying the rosary, referring to the sun as holy fire, thinking of her family before herself, and modestly deflecting a "thank you" for her child saving abilities. She is proved a devout, god-fearing, unselfish, and graceful woman by this description. The purpose of this section is to develop her character and provide an example of a true Christian to the reader: a dutiful, intelligent woman that supports her beliefs by her actions, both small and large.

P.S. - I think this story also says something about marriage - she clearly feels little to no love for her husband, only referring to the man as "himself", but yet she is still married to him, likely because she respects the sacrament andS institution of marriage.

Gifts of the Holy Spirit

1

I see the gifts of the Holy Spirit acting in my life as I gradually develop faithful habits and shed the routine of the secular world. I am beginning to recognize the presence of God through these habits. For example, I have begun trying to see Him in the people I don't like. A few years ago, I couldn't have imagined thinking this way. I would only focus on the bad qualities I saw in that person, and I wouldn't even stop to think that I was insulting God by doing so. While I do not always think to do this, when I do, it is evidence of the gifts of piety and understanding acting in my life. 

I also notice Fear of God in my life now as I never did before. I feel genuine remorse when I recognize that I have sinned because I now understand the implications of such a thing. The remorse is greatest when I only recognize a sin once it is brought to my attention by somebody else, and I would never have noticed it on my own. Because of this new fear of sin, I am more aware of my habitual sins, like telling small, insignificant lies or flaunting my mom. I think this is the work of the Holy Spirit, slowly bringing my closer to God by making me aware of my sins and helping me to stop committing them. 

2

I need wisdom the most. In my young age, I often make rash decisions for a number of reasons. Some include hormones, peer pressure, simple secular desires, stress, the list goes on. I need to learn to take a second, often. I need to take this second and think about the moral and spiritual implications of the impending action, and whether they are in line with my beliefs. I also need help looking deeper into my long term actions. I have no idea whether this thing I feel for that girl is a healthy love or mere affection or even sinful desire. 

Speaking of sinful desire, wisdom would help me repress the desires of the flesh that are so hard to resist at the hormonal age. Wisdom would let me separate what vices are truly sinful and what vices are just frowned upon by this world's society. Not that any vices are good, really... but, moving on. Essentially, wisdom would give me the ability to shape my life in the right direction. The key there is "in the right direction". There are other gifts that give the ability to shape one's life (counsel), but wisdom confers instead the sureness of the right direction. I need that. 

Chuck Norstadt became more certain of Mr. McCloud's identity by spending time with the man and sharing experiences with him. Two scenes in particular prove this point. The first one is the scene in which Chuck and McCloud are acting out the play and, upon being told to go home, Chuck says he wants to stay and finish the play. The second one is the scene in which Chuck finds out the truth about his father and runs to McCloud's house to cry in his arms. 

The first scene, mentioned above, shows how shared experiences strengthen Chuck's sureness of McCloud's identity because it is the first time that Chuck not only shows a fondness for learning, but also a fondness of McCloud. Prior to that moment, Chuck had only really been coming to see McCloud so that he could learn enough to pass the entrance exam, it seemed. Also, most of their interaction had been in the form of teacher-to-pupil discourse. The first time that barrier falls and they share an experience in which they are nearer to equals, Chuck begins to seem more comfortable with his teacher, and wants to return from that point on. I do not mean to suggest that this one moment was the only factor that caused Chuck to start liking Mr. McCloud, but rather that it was experiences like these that did so.

Another such moment was the second scene mentioned; this one is an experience of greater magnitude and importance than the acting of the play because it is a personal and life-changing discovery for Chuck. First, Chuck's decision to turn to McCloud in this time of need speaks to how much Chuck had already overcome his fears and doubts and preconceived notions about his tutor. The aftermath of this experience is more important, however. The next morning, Chuck attempts to resist the orders of the police officer that wants to take the boy home. Later that day, Chuck tells his mother that McCloud is his best friend. Clearly, that night has caused Chuck to grow closer and more sure of McCloud's identity.

However, the end of the movie throws a cog in the gears. Chuck learns from his mother that McCloud is supposed to have molested the boy that was killed in the car accident. This questions all of the things Chuck thought he learned about McCloud. Chuck is so disturbed that he steals the family car and drives to McCloud's house to ask him if he molested the boy. But, McCloud does not give Chuck the answer outright. He asks Chuck to think and to call upon all that Chack had learned about McCloud through their shared experiences, and to draw his own conclusion. Because of the plethora of those experiences they went through together, Chuck is sure that McCloud did not molest the boy. This is the ultimate evidence of the effect that their time together had on Chuck's confidence in McCloud's character, and one of the major themes of the movie.

The Bible is a Sacramental

The Bible is sacramental: it represents the truths of God (symbolizes them). For example, the brazen serpent is a symbol of Jesus. If you look at the poisonless serpent, you are cured of the venom. If you look at the sinless man, you are cured of sin. This comes to us as a great mystery: we cannot understand how God was contained in a man. Like Christ, the sacraments are signs of God and our salvation. They work for us because as men, we need material signs of Him.

A Divine Sense of Humor

A sense of humor means one can see through things. Since sacraments are symbols, one must be able to see through them in order to grasp their divine meaning. Our age has lost this sense of humor. We no longer see reality as a sacrament of Him. We must always realize that we are seeing the Divine Image in one another. We must be careful not to go too far with this however. God and his creations must be kept separate. At the same time, we cannot separate ourselves from Him. We must realize that the universe is a sign or indication of God. 

Seven Conditions of Life

Regular Life/Divine Life

-One must be born/Baptism

-He must nourish himself/Eucharist

-He must mature/Confirmation

-He must have his wounds healed/Penance

-He must have his diseases cured/Anointing of the Sick

-He must live under government and justice/Holy Orders

-He is called to propagate the human species/Matrimony

The Power and Efficacy of the Sacraments

The sacraments get their power and efficacy from the Passion, Death, and Resurrection of our Lord. These three things all center around his blood being shed. The sacraments get their power from this bloodshed because blood symbolizes the purification of sin, the sacrifice Christ performed for us, and infinite value of his sinless life. We will be saved by the Blood of Christ. 

The Application of the Sacraments

The sacraments are the pipelines that connect us to the reservoir of grace that is Christ. The application of this grace can have all kinds of different results depending on when it acts on one's life. The effect of the grace will also vary based on the spiritual state and maturity of the one receiving it. 

What the Sacraments Bring to Man

The Sacraments make a higher life, or grace, accessible to man. This higher life is a free gift of God, and grants an inner peace and provides infinite love that cannot be found in the pleasures of the flesh or intellectually. We must open ourselves to God in order to receive this gift. Also, the Sacraments help us to do this by making Jesus present for us. Interacting with the sacraments is the same as interacting with Jesus as if he were alive. 

1987 - "lay it in that River of Pain, and watch it move away toward the kingdom of Christ."
1988 - "'If I Baptize you,' the preacher said, 'you'll be able to go to the Kingdom of Christ. You'll be washed in the river of suffering, son, and you'll go by the deep river of life.'"
1989 - When the preacher tells Harry that he won't be the same, that he'll count, he's referring to this concept of dual santification and renewal.
1990 - "you can lay your pain in that river and get rid of it because that's the river that was made to carry Sin."
1991 -  When the preacher speaks of the River of Fath, Life, and Love, the rich red river of Jesus' Blood, he is encouraging us to dive in to this river, or accept God's righteousness. Through this, we will inherit the river's qulaities. The catechism names them as faith, hope, and charity. The preacher says faith, life, and love. Same concept.
1992 - "The same blood that makes this River red" mirrors the "blood [that] has become the instrument of atonement for the sins of all men."
1993 - The preacher asks the crowd to testify to either God or the devil, one or the other. This shows how man has freedom to reject God's grace. Harry's parents exemplify this choice.
1994 - The preacher calls the crowd to participate in this "most excellent work of God's love" when he says "you people with trouble, lay in that river of blood."
1995 - "I know frm it that this preacher can heal. My eyes have been opened! I testify to Jesus!" By opening her inner person to God and accepting him, this woman has started on the path to full justification and eventual sanctification.
1996 - The river itself is God's grace. It's the opportunity that he offers us so that we may obtain justification.
1997 - "This old red suffering stream goes on, you people, slow to the Kingdom of Christ." If we participate in God, or follow the river, we will be led to a closeness with him or an intimacy of Trinitarian life.
1998 - When Bevel preaches that loving Jesus an testifying to him is the only way to be healed, he is implying that it is only God that can reveal and give himself.
1999 - When Bevel says, "You'll count now," he's talking about this deifying grace received in Baptism.
2000 - Bevel implies the habituality of this grace when he says the river does not end here, but goes on to the Kingdom of God slowly. He means that we must habitually stay true to His will.
2001 - When the woman talks about how she knows this man can heal through her own self experience, she is exemplifying this work of grace that arouses and sustains our collaboration in justification through faith.
2002 - The man sitting on his car with the cancer above his ear displays the ability to dissent with the preacher, or not choose God. It is not coincedence, then, that he has not been healed: he has not offered God his free response.
2003 - The preacher possesses the charism of knowledge of Christ and his goodness at such a young age, coupled with the eloquence and enthusiasm needed to convince others of His truth.
2004 - Bevel is clearly embracing his grace of state by enthusiastically preaching the mercy of God.
2005 - When Harry went swimming in the river to seek admission into the Kingdom of Christ, he didn't receive any sign or make any noticeable progress. Instead, the river pushed back at him. This represents our struggle with faith and God. We cannot know and we will receive no sign that we are on the right track. Instead, the world will resist us. But, we musn't grow cynical and give up like Harry did. He died.

Definitions

Science - the empirical study of how our world operates
Evidence - observations that either support or reject a hypothesis
Fact - an argument or statement derived from an observation
Truth - A fact that is indisputably, always the case, regardless of point of view
Opinion - A fact that is dependent upon point of view; a subjective thing
Value - the degree or magnitude of something
Logic - the use of valid arguments to prove truths about our world

When we come to know something, we are not creating an original thought, but rather we are recognizing an existing fact. For example, I know that I am white. My knowledge of this fact did not make me white; I would be white whether I knew it or not. This can be taken further, stating that we are entirely dependent on our surroundings for all of our knowledge. Knowledge, then, can only come through interaction with the world.

So, knowledge is external. But, how do we get it? I think one can only attain knowledge through firsthand experience. I know my keyboard has 26 letters on it because I just counted them. I experienced this, so I know it. You might say, however, that I could know it without experiencing it. I could know it if, say, my brother told me that there are 26 letters. However, I would not really know that there are 26 letters, instead I would only know that Shane SAID there are 26 letters. I can trust him and believe and be totally sure of that fact's verity, but I still do not really know it.

This explains why we could not "convince" you in class the other day that our mothers loved us. We have experienced our mother's love, so we know of it. However, no many how many times we tell you about that love, you cannot experience it, so you can only know that we claim that our mother's love us.

In summation, I would say to know something is to experience it in reality.

This Assignment Sucks!

The Narrator wasn't looking forward to the visit of the blind man because the narrator had been sucked up into his daily routine and didn't like any variations on it. This is because he felt secure in his routine, like he had some semblance of control, but he clearly wasn't truly happy in it as evidenced by his habitual use of marijuana to distract himself. 

The wife's poetry and attempted suicide are both indicators of her need for emotional connection with other people. She didn't get this from her past life with the officer due to the constant moving, hence the suicide attempt. In this sense, the face-touching was her being seen by the blind man. They shared an emotional connection in that moment -- he was really trying to know and understand her better. 

To receive your wife's friend is to love your wife. I use "wife" only as an example; it can be interchanged with any other person and remain true. You are opening your home to this stranger not because you want to, but because your wife wants to and you are willing to make that sacrifice for her. 

Robert seems to have seen Beulah's intentions, her character, and her loving and caring heart. Our misguided narrator, however, cannot get past her race. To see someone is to cast aside predisposed notions and look at the way someone thinks, their intentions, their desires, and their character. To be seen, obviously, is to have someone see these things in you, and it is a validating experience indeed if it is a positive one. 

The narrator smokes pot to distract himself from his monotonous and un-fulfilling daily routine. This reveals his lack of desire, or lack of realization of his desires. He's going through life almost like a horse with blinders on. The blind man is less enthusiastic about pot because he sees it for what it really is: an impediment. He knows that pot will blur his "sight" if used overtime. He knows that it is something dangerous, something that can become one's focus and will distract from his relatively fulfilling life. This is why he's fine with doing it once, but overall unenthusiastic. 

People put more effort into the more important aspects of their lives. For example, we have enormous football stadiums these days and Sunday has become, for many, and day of football and not the Sabbath. This applies to churches as well: back when they were the centerpieces of daily life, they were grand and beautiful. Many are still grand and beautiful, but nowhere near the scale of what they used to be because church has dropped to the bottom of our societal to-do list. 

The narrator has difficulty describing a cathedral because he's never wondered about it. He just goes through the motions of life, not stopping to examine the spider webs. When he closes his eyes, he can finally fully understand where the blind man is coming from. He sees a new point of view for the first time in his life, most likely. He understands that the elimination of sight has given him a tabula rasa upon which he can truly wonder about things. 

The Journey of the Staple

I sit here, looking at a staple. It's currently attached to another staple, which is part of a chain of other staples. The staple is next in line for my stapler. It could be the small piece of metal that keeps my next essay from falling apart, or it could be wasted as a test staple. It might be defective and thrown away, or it might not fail until I am about to turn the paper in. At the last second, it could release and my essay would become 10 sheets of scattered paper. I might never use it. It could sit in this house until we move out, because the stapler was misplaced. Maybe the next tenants will discover it and use that staple for their new homeowner's legal documents.
Eventually, though, it will probably find its way into the trash. It is inevitable. It could be used on my senior thesis, which the teacher will grade and return to me. I will likely keep that paper around for a few months, or maybe even a few years. One day I will find it in an old drawer or binder and realize that I have a copy backed up on my hard drive, and I will throw that copy away. Or, I might put it in a book of memories and keep it until I die. My children may cherish this book for ages. But they might forget it in the attic of a temporary house. The point is, whatever I attach my staple to will eventually lose significance. And it will be discarded.
I might rip my pants tomorrow, and not have a needle and thread handy! The staple could become part of one of my garments. I might pass that garment down to my cousin, who might wear it thin and throw it away. The staple could rust, it could lose its grip and fall out, it could fall in the grass and bury itself, or it could disappear in the corner of a schoolroom. Its job is important, but its significance will die quickly.
Interestingly enough, though, it will endure for a long, long time. A staple does not dissolve or melt or break up too easily, even after it is discarded. It is an object with a long life, but it will only be needed for a small fraction of that life.

Wonder is applied imagination.

When I was 6, my description would probably have been a wildly unpredictable one. I was not bound by experience and reality. My imagination had not yet been restrained by interaction with the world. I would have forecast exciting things for the staple that, in reality, would probably never happen. It would have been a pure outburst of imagination, not wonder.

St. Gregory of Nyssa's quote, in my opinion, emphasizes the importance of the search for truth over the actual understanding of it. A concept is something that the human brain can fully understand, because concepts are created by the human brain. To have a concept, we must be able to perceive. An idol is something concrete that one worships, whether it is an idea, person, or thing. It is often referred to negatively, because it implies material worship rather than heavenly worship. The first portion of the sentence is saying that when we truly believe we understand something, we have fallen into complacency. When we reduce God to a concept and think we fully understand Him, we have begun to worship something false; we are on the wrong path.
Wonder, however, is the constant search and thirst for the truth. Wonder is the path to an answer, but is not actually an answer in and of itself. St. Gregory of Nyssa is telling us that the only way to truly grasp anything is to be in a constant awareness of our inability to entirely understand it. That awareness, he posits, combined with the hunger and desire for truth, allows us to fully experience reality.

Rich Irony at Kenyon

David Foster Wallace's thesis about our ability to dictate our interaction with reality is valid. We have all had the experience that he refers to negatively, or gone through the motions if you will. It happens more times than anyone can keep track of. And, every once in a while, many people maintain an awareness during an otherwise routine situation that allows them to realize the humanity of the surrounding people. Often, we must be reminded by somebody else that has a better perspective. It is always easier to spot "routine living", if you will, when you are not the offending party. The simplest example that comes to mind is a recent experience. I was getting a Slurpee at the 7-Eleven near my house with my dad, and the cashier hardly said anything to me when I bought it. He didn't even respond when I said, "Have a nice day." I was a little miffed, but my dad reminded me that the cashier was probably at the end of his seemingly infinite shift during which he had to listen to the blaring *ding dong* every time the door was opened and tend to dozens of other meaningless and undignified tasks. My dad knew that we were in water, while I had taken it for granted.

I usually engage this choice how I did at 7-Eleven: the blinded-by-routine way. I would like to engage this choice how my father did in that same situation. In fact, I often suggest that other people do the same, much to their frustration. Most people do not grasp this concept, that we can engage reality in whatever way we choose to. This is shown, ironically, by DFW's audience. They clap whenever he is illustrating what not to do; they support him when he is sarcastically advocating the bad example. This goes to show that many people in this world, even graduates of one of the finest liberal arts colleges in the world, have been absorbed in to systems and structures that blind them to their freedom to interact with reality however they please.

Caligula, Act I

Camus demonstrates Caligula's heart by placing him at the intersection of the desire for the impossible, in his case the moon, and reality. Caligula seems to draw a certain vigor from this intersection, as shown in his conversation with Helicon. Caligula argues that the impossible goals we set mustn't be dismissed as a waste of time, but instead should be pursued and seen through to the end. He adds that logic (or reason) is all that is needed and should be maintained at all costs. The implication here is that Caligula is an intelligent person with a basic understanding of his existence, unlike the other emperors described by the patricians.

The patricians think Caligula is young and naive. They say that he is too artistic, and they label him as a misfit in the great line of Roman emperors. They say that he should put aside all else except his role as a public servant. They did, however, like the fact that he was inexperienced because it gave them greater influence over him.
While the nobles' observations of Caligula are mostly correct, I disagree with their position on Caligula. They see him in a largely negative light, because he is unlike the emperors of the past. But, if the descriptions of those emperors were accurate, I think Caligula should be viewed positively. He is immersed in the great questions of our human existence, and quality that should be embraced among emperors. How should the kingdom contain happy people if its ruler leads an unhappy life? To address the statement that Caligula should be more of a public servant, I quote Caligula on page 9: "I wish men to live by the light of truth. And I've the power to make them do so." This discourse shows that he is indeed the greatest public servant of all; he can see the greatest problem facing the people of the Empire and he wishes to enlighten and help them with it.

A Map

My map is...
Colorful.
Tall.
Wide.
Thin.
Smooth.
Glossy.
A Mercator projection map.
50" by 38".
Covered in lines.
Mostly blue.
In my basement, above my computer.
Helpful.
Thick with words.
Mass produced.
More than 10 years old.
Not up to date.
Small scale.
Of the whole world.
Inanimate.
Flammable.
Held to the wall by tacks.
Mostly decorative.
Next to a map of the USA.
Centered on the USA.
A teacher.
A display of the countries of the world and their relative locations.
Political.

What will make me happy?

I'll start with the first thing that comes to mind, and go from there.

Success in the things I care about will make me happy. Right now, I really care about my music. Competitions and such are nice, sure, and I work hard to do well in them. But, at the end of the day, the most important thing is how well I played. If I can say that I would have enjoyed hearing my own performance from the audience, then I am content. If I can’t say that, then it doesn't matter whether I scored well or won the competition or passed the test. I will be unhappy.

But that brand of happiness seems to be kind of fleeting.

I think I am most happy when I feel like I am contributing to something. Whether it’s the hallways at homecoming or the conversation at the dinner table, If I am positively affecting the situation I am usually happy. I also get pretty unhappy when I’m negatively affecting a situation.

Another aspect of my own happiness is belonging. I need other people to accept me for me to be happy. This includes family, friends, even rivals. If the person I am competing with doesn’t accept me as a worthy competitor, I get uneasy and upset (although this can be quite motivational at times). Sometimes, when I don’t feel accepted, I try to change my persona around that un-accepting group. 

And this leads us to my next point…

I need to stay true to myself to be happy. When I change my persona to become accepted (usually unconsciously) like I mentioned previously, I am about as unhappy as I’ll ever be as soon as I notice it. It will eat at me for a while and wear me down until I can’t keep associating with those people because I have to wear that persona around them. To be happy, I have to act according to my ideals and what I believe, not what other people want me to believe.

A similar concept is loneliness.

I cannot be alone if I am to be happy. This has many implications. It applies to the day-to-day: I need human interaction, to some extent, on most days. Also, I think I will need a wife to be happy with my life in the future. I really want someone that I can spend the rest of my days with. I want to share the human experience with another. I also want to have close friends – there is a strange loneliness that arises from having too many friends. There is an inability to grow close with anyone when you are spreading your time thin between too many people. I want to avoid that in my life, and I want to grow close with a small group of friends.

Finally, and most importantly, I want to add a sense of order to my life; I would like to have a strong idea of my identity. I do not have this yet. 

Introduction

To initiate this blog, I will introduce myself, my values and beliefs, my past, and my goals. I am a kid in a constant state to satisfy my standards for myself. These are quite high. I fail to do this many times each day! These failures are what motivate me to improve. It's weird: every time I let my standards down, I become that much more determined to get better in that area. This mindset defines me, and it's the most important thing in the world to me. When I look back on my lowest moments, they were the times that I failed myself and was OK with it; I felt no desire to do better. This is not just in tangible activities like academics, work, or athletics, it also crosses over into other things like my relationships with parents, friends, and God.

My relationship with God is not a particularly strong one. I feel a responsibility to adhere to a certain moral code and to live my life in the way He prescribes, but I do not have a strong bond with Him. When I pray, I feel reminded of the way I should live my life and inspired to do so, but I don't really feel a connection to a higher being. This has been a point of  much concern for me and I talked about it extensively with Amanda, the old assistant rector at my church (I'm Episcopalian, where female priests are allowed). I do go to church when I'm in town, but if I'm away I generally don't make much effort to find a church. I've gone to the same church my whole life, and I've come to love the Episcopal Church. I also have a great deal of respect for the Catholic Church, and I feel comfortable attending Catholic Mass. I do plan to continue as an Episcopalian in the future, however, for many reasons, the foremost being the inclusive nature of the Eucharist in Episcopal tradition.

I live in a nice suburb of a big city with two parents who both hold well-paid government jobs. Our house is big and we live comfortably. However, my parents always try to make me earn the things I have. I really value that effort on my parents part. They've made me realize that things don't come easily in this world. They also have tried to expose me to a wide range of experiences in many areas like food, athletics, cultures, people, music, and places. This has opened my mind and caused me to be more accepting of other practices in these areas. I think my parents wanted me to be a part of the global generation, and they have suceeded. I appreciate that.

In my future, I hope to be content with my long term situation. Here's what I mean: at any given moment I want to be able to look at the next ten, twenty, even thirty years of my life and be happy with the possibilities and oppurtunities in front of me. I want to keep the metaphorical doors that are important to me open. Currently, those doors include a career in music, a career as an acousital engineer, time to experience a large scope of our world, and a partner to share those experiences with.